Sometimes I can be socially awkward. Although I think I’m getting better at socializing, I still have been known to find myself in some awkward pauses. And so it was inevitable that black girl gone would go awkwardly silent for a couple of weeks. If this caused you anxiety of any sort – well, first of all, that surprises me – but more importantly, I’m very sorry.
The most shameful thing about my silence is I left with my “grievances.” I suspect this may have given the impression that I went into complainy mode, which quickly sucked me into a deep and dark place of unhappiness in Amsterdam.
Well, nothing could be further from the truth. It’s actually been quite the opposite. Almost immediately after writing that last post, things started falling into place. All of the cable and internet equipment was included in the cable company’s shipment, allowing me to get online from my apartment the next day. A day or two later I purchased a tv, washer, and dryer – I figured if I’m going to live the life I choose, why not do laundry at home. I was spending less time on silly logistics and able to get into something close to a routine. Life just seemed to get easier, almost as if I finally stopped driving with the parking brake on. And since then, it’s been nothing but goodness. Good classes. Good people. Good connections. Good cookies. And even some good grades.
But maybe I shouldn’t have said life got “easier.” Between writing papers and reading lots of big words, I have little time for gardening and watching Dutch Sesame Street. And considering I spent lots of time watching Dutch Sesame Street and gardening this past weekend, time management is my biggest challenge at the moment. That’s never going to be easy.
Nevertheless, more about the goings on shortly…promise.