Entertaining Lessons in Dutch

Rosetta Stone has been my primary approach to learning Dutch. With the computer-based application, I’ve been able to practice pronunciation, writing, listening, and grammar. I love it and recommend it for whatever language you may be learning. The only downside is there isn’t anything written that I can carry around for shortcut purposes. So to complement my studies, I purchased a Lonely Planet Dutch Phrasebook

With most pocket-size language books, you get the basics that will help you get through common, everyday situations. This book is no different. Maybe except that they have also accounted for both the sexy times and the enraging times. Some of these lessons will come in handy, for sure. But in some cases I wonder if I will lose credibility when I want to call someone a “dickhead,” requiring him to wait for me to pull out my language companion. “Ooohhh, I’m ’bout to curse you out. Just wait for me to find that book in my bag.”

So anyway, I can’t resist sharing some of my favorite lessons. If I have the opportunity to either say or hear each of these phrases at some point, I will consider my time there complete.

  • How can we protest against sexism? … Hoe kunnen we protesteren tegen seksisme?
  • Sorry, I can’t sing … Sorry, maar ik kan niet zingen.
  • I’m high … Ik ben high.
  • He’s a babe … Hij is een mooierd.
  • I’m attracted to your phone number … Ik voel me aangetrokken tot jouw telefoonnummer.
  • Those clothes would look great in a pile next to my bed … Die kleding zou geweldig staan op een hoopje naast mijn bed.
  • Piss off! … Donder op!
  • It’s my first time … Het is mijn eerste keer.
  • Easy tiger! … Zachtjesaan lekker stuk!
  • I never want to see you again … Ik wil je nooit meer zien.
  • You’re charged with indecent exposure … U word beschuldigd van openbare zedenschennis.
  • My dentures are broken … Ik heb mijn kunstgebit gebroken.

I randomly selected those.

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